Submissive Power

There is something positively stunningly beautiful to me in true surrender. When I see it, I am awed by it. When I find it in myself, I transcend into something far greater than I usually am. There is power in submission. If you do the work, and find a Dom worthy of that submission, true surrender feeds the submissive soul unlike any other fuel out there and it can give you strength to move mountains.

For a true submissive, we feel that need to submit all the time. However most will never recognize it for what it is. We're taught to be strong, independent women who don't need men and if we admit that we may want to actually submit to one, we feel like a traitor to our gender.

Being submissive is not a defect. It's not something to be "fixed." If it is recognized and channeled correctly, it can be the most amazing gift and most surprising source of strength.

I believe wholeheartedly that the real secret of life is authenticity. Discovering who you truly are, accepting and embracing it without judgment is the most freeing thing you will ever do.

I believe that across the board, but for the purpose of

Never Settle

Being a good submissive takes a certain brand of courage. Being a good submissive, holding up your end of the exchange means completely, 100%, giving yourself to another person to do with what they will. It means opening yourself up to having your vulnerabilities and weaknesses exposed. It means resting entirely in the decisions of another person. It means releasing your need to control or manipulate a situation in anyway. It means being entirely helpless as a baby bird fallen from a tree. It is not something just anyone can do, nor something most really want to do, but for those of us who are true submissives, it's in that state of complete surrender that we are our most beautiful, that we show our greatest strength.

It is this exact reason though that I say to be a good submissive, you must

Being a Smart Submissive and Other Tips for Safe, Sane, Consensual BDSM

Dominance and submission is getting more and more attention. In large part I think because of the rising popularity of erotic romance novels written on the subject. While I am one of these writers, and I adore combining my love of romance with my kinkier side, these books are still fiction, a fantasy. They are meant for entertainment purposes and should not ever be taken as an example of how the world of BDSM, or the people in it, function. Anymore than you would pick up a historical romance and assume all the Dukes and Lords were sexy, with a dazzling white even smile, heroic, charming men who fell head over heels in love with their virgin brides.

We all want the happy ending, and many of us want the romance, the excitement, and the adventure falling in love brings, but I think in this day and age it would be ridiculous and bordering on delusional to take any of the books I, or any of my brilliant colleagues, write, and assume your life will at all resemble that of a romance novel heroine's.

That's not to say that I don't believe the fairy tale exists, because I do. I believe in soul mates. I just also think it's exceedingly rare and most of us will never see that kind of love in this lifetime, it's why we all read the books. However, even if the fairy tale isn't in store for you, that doesn't mean you cannot have a deeply connected relationship that includes soul satisfying sex. There are a few things though that are necessity and luckily enough most of it all depends on you.

Now lets take the world of BDSM.

The first thing I would like to say is that it is not all that different from any other group of people sharing a hobby. For many, BDSM is a lifestyle, but for just as many, it's something they only do sexually. It's not some dark secret underground society you have to be initiated into. And while there is great range of degree and how far people will take their kinks, there is definitely a shallow end of the pool you can use to wade in slowly, which I personally think is a good idea and here's why...